In reading "nonresistance, or love Mennonite style" by Di Brandt, I was made aware of the massive problem nonresistance can pose for young Mennonite Women. I know many more conservative Mennonite communities are highly patriarchal, and all Mennonite communities out a stress on peace and nonresistance. I had thought of the latter as a noble virtue for anyone to embrace, at least physical nonresistance, but this poem showed me that patriarchy combined with nonresistance can create a terrible ideal that women, especially young women must not talk back or fight against a man, even against something as terrible as sexual assault.
Brandt writes about when "your uncle / kisses you too long on the lips...& you want to run away but / you can't because he's a man like your father." Sexual assault kills me. It is the most vile thing i can think of at any given moment. It has become all too common on college campuses like Goshen, and a part of the problem lies here, with Brandt's childhood experience. She doesn't stand up for herself. She won't fight back. Even if she is worried for her body. Because she is more worried about being reprimanded for speaking up.
Brandt later continues in the same poem, "the / only way you'll be saved is by submitting quietly to your grandfather's house." She felt at that moment that the only way to save herself was to be quiet, to submit, to do whatever the men told her to. That is a dangerous way to be raised, no matter what tradition someone is from.
This issue has been expressed by other Mennonite female poets as well such as Julia Kasdorf and Sylvia Bubalo. In Kasdorf's poem, "Ghost," she talks about watching terrible things happen to herself in third person, unable to do anything about it. Her boyfriend touches her inappriately, and all she can do is watch. She watches and doesn't scream or fight back in a scene that implies her own rape (lines 15-18) ensues. She "rage[s] against the vulnerable socket" implying self-mutilation from the trauma of the rape. In lines 20-28, she pushes herself to be strong. She finds her solace in refusing to be the weak, obedient female she is expected to be.
Both Kasdorf and Brandt grew up in a seemingly typical environment in the Mennonite comminity, but these experiences force us to reevaluate what the Mennonite convictions are and what they tel children and adult alike about how they are to behave and interact with others.
Thanks for discussing this, Kolton! The themes you discuss here remind me of Sylvia Bubalo's work as well. Your final paragraph especially reminded me of the kind of critiques and examination Bubalo did of her own community, and the "stranger" that Kasdorf describes in "When the Stranger is an Angel." I think you're getting at important theme of Mennonite female writing.
ReplyDeleteYes, it's an important and very sad theme. It's hard to think pacifism can lead to such a thing. I think it's important to teach children nonviolence, but it's also important to teach them to speak up about things like this, and teach them how to say no. I'm glad these women are strong enough to bring these issues to light.
ReplyDeletePerceptive reading, Kolton. We'll find that this critique of pacifism--at least the way it is often internalized in a patriarchal society--can be problematic for women. Rudy Wiebe's first novel, which we'll read in a few weeks, Peace Shall Destroy Many, tackles this very question.
ReplyDeleteThanks for this post, Kolton! I have also found that a common theme among some Mennonites, especially the Amish I believe, is forgiveness. Yes, we are called to forgive, but I can't help but think of situations like sexual assault. I definitely think there is a difference between pacifism and standing up for oneself.
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